I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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