dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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