This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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