Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize