Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize