He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
