1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
