I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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