he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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