woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
