So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
