end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
