OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
