he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she pinky promised me she was 18
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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