how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's shark week go big or go home
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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