we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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