Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
