Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
