she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize