At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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