I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
