just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
well you can't waste a boner
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize