Sponge bath it is.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
