I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize