At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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