You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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