do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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