If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize