dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize