the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
