in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
