I want to stick my p in your. b.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
