I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
