So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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