im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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