Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
