you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
