that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
