In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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