remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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