11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
