I just cut my nipple shaving
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
