I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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