just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
