We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
