There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
