Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
