I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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