three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
