There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she peed on how many people?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
