Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
