she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize