I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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