Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
