its not stalking. its research.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize