What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
