Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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