Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
