is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're like the curious george of whores
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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