On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
