Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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