Cold hands, warm shart.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i came on her dog
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
