How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
