What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
