i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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