So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
