oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I intend to get homeless drunk
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
