One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
