My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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