brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
