I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
