porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
