never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
