turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize